The Flake has Returned

OH MY HECK! I am such a flake. I was looking at my blog today and realized I have not blogged since FEB. I am soooo sorry. so i guess it is catch you up time. since February I Officially made my job at Mrs Fields Permanent. (that was a huge relief) I had a birthday that was great and not so great. The idea of me getting older was horrifying but as usual my husband made me queen of the day and did everything he could to make it special. I survived mothers day by thinking of others. ( I thought about how it would be difficult for my dads family to have there first mothers day without there mother) I made up husbands day! Which my husband totally loved. We spent great holidays together Easter, Memorial Day, the 4th and the 24th of July. And I learned the most important lesson of my life 2 weeks ago. You want to know what it is? okay I will tell you! ITS NOT ABOUT ME!!! I know shocking right? LOL but it is true I was talking with my husband and we were talking about not being able to have a baby and I said something about how after 5 years I still must not be very faithful if we still have not been able to conceive. Eric patiently and lovingly expressed how faithful I WAS and that it took A lot of faith to go thru what we did and come out on the other side of it together. stronger and happier! So I thought Ya that's True! So what lesson am I missing? And then it hit me like a bolt of lightning! YOUR BEING SELFISH!!! Having a baby isn't supposed to be about us! It is supposed to be about the baby! And for the past 5 years all we have been thinking about is us why we cant have a baby how much we want to have a baby how a baby would enrich our lives! GEESH in retrospect No wonder it hasn't worked out for us because we are making it all about us! Sigh.... I have spent 5 and a half years wasting time and blessings thinking about me. Well those days are over now. Its about the baby and the baby only and we will get ready for the baby and wait and enjoy our time together until that baby is ready to come to us. I am determined to enjoy my life. And when that sweet baby graces us with its presence we will welcome it with open arms and we will know that its right because we are not praying for us anymore we are just praying for the baby!